The wedding is just a big party.
If you’re not first, you’re last.
Reptiles should never be pets.
Back hair = deal breaker.
Tequila only leads to poor judgement.
Never go for a 10.
Everyone knows *movie night* is code for something else.
Run from Scott and Stephen.
Never cry over someone around your mother.
Nerds can be cool.
First dates can be fun.
Dog people aren’t always the ~best~ people.
Orgasms and cats are the key to happiness.
And finally…always have a towel handy.
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