Real meaning: To ask for death.
Basic meaning: I hate my life so much and all that happened is the Starbucks barista spelled my name with a fucking “E” instead of an “A” and seriously my life is over.
Real meaning: Spoken by someone who is losing their life.
Basic meaning: I’m not sure how else to describe the magnitude at which I’m freaking out so instead I’m telling you goodbye.
Real meaning: Exactly; precisely.
Basic meaning: Used in literally every sentence to describe literally anything and everything literally imaginable. Also, if you tell me to stop saying this word one more time I’ll literally punch you.
Real meaning: In a truthful, fair, or honorable way.
Basic meaning: I know sometimes I exaggerate but I’m truly not exaggerating this time and what I’m about to say is coming from my heart.
Real meaning: To not be able to do something.
Basic meaning: I definitely CAN but am so unbelievably mind-fucked at the moment and I don’t know what else to say.
Real meaning: To shed tears, especially as an expression of distress or pain.
Basic meaning: I’m smiling right now as I type this out.
Real meaning: To give a long, loud, piercing cry or cries expressing excitement, great emotion, or pain.
Basic meaning: My lips are sealed tight and there is no noise coming from me at all whatsoever, however I am very excited and/or over it.
Real meaning: To cry noisily, making loud, convulsive gasps.
Basic meaning: I’m still very much smiling and there are definitely still no tears but I need you to grasp how fucking strong my emotions are right now and “I’m crying” just isn’t cutting it.
Real meaning: To cry actual droplets of tears.
Basic meaning: Yep, still no tears.
Real meaning: Extending directly upward from.
Basic meaning: I’m annoyed with everyone but will be cheery and happy and forget what I’m mad about in about 30 minutes or once I drink my Starbucks.
Real meaning: A typo.
Basic meaning: I am so fucking speechless/frustrated/happy/confused/in disbelief and this random jumble of letters that I hit on my keyboard is supposed to convey that to you.
Real meaning: No longer alive.
Basic meaning: I am so beyond floored at what’s going down and “I’m dying” isn’t enough so I’m taking things one step further — I actually DIED. I’m dead. Capisce. There is no more me.
Real meaning: To move up and down or from side to side with rapid, forceful, jerky movements.
Basic meaning: I’m not moving a single muscle but want you to know that I’m very excited.
Real meaning: To suffer severely from hunger.
Basic meaning: I haven’t eaten in 30 minutes, can someone get me a Lara bar?
Real meaning: With earnest intent; not lightly or superficially.
Basic meaning: I don’t really know tbh, I just say it a lot.
“I don’t mean to talk shit but…” [proceeds to talk shit.]
Real meaning: N/A, because no normal person says this.
Basic meaning: I’m 100% about to talk shit but I don’t want you to judge me for it or hold it against me in the future.
“It’s SO true.”
Real meaning: In accordance with fact or reality.
Basic meaning: I think I agree with what you’re saying but even if I don’t, it’d be way too awkward to disagree with you in this moment so I’m just gonna make this easy for the both of us.
Real meaning: To come to an end; cease to happen.
Basic meaning: Holy shit! I’m fucking stunned at what you’re saying, but please continue telling your story and do not stop at all.
Real meaning: Forming an essential foundation or starting point; fundamental.
Basic meaning: A word used to describe an amazing person who legit literally understands all of these words.