May 24, 2017

Listen, Teens, We Totally Had Slime First

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Attention, youths of America! *taps mic*

We know your Instagram slime videos are all the rage right now.

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Instagram

View this photo on Instagram


Instagram: @slimequeeens

And you think all this sticky stuff on social media is like, so new and cool.

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Instagram

View this photo on Instagram


Instagram: @craftyslimecreator

But I don’t know if you’re aware of this. Slime was kind of …. OUR thing.

We had this channel in the ’90s called Nickelodeon, and it pretty much put slime on the map.

View this video on YouTube


youtube.com

That’s right, we didn’t just look at cute slime videos on our phone while we were pooping. People back then got slime DUMPED on them. We wore our slime, and we liked it.

View this video on YouTube


youtube.com

But just like you, we also had our own version of toy slime. It was called Gak, and it was glorious.

We even had these sick-ass machines to INFLATE our slime.


youtube.com

Like a giant bubble of gum that stuck to all your clothes and hair without mercy.

Or… suction up the slime and spit it out? I mean, whatever, it was fun.

You think your slime with little foam Dippin’ Dots in it is “on fleek”?


Wispy Slimes / Via instagram.com

Yeah, we had that, and it was called FLOAM.

You have this sticky rainbow goo.

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Instagram

View this photo on Instagram


Instagram: @slime

We had this stuff called Smud.

We didn’t have Instagram, but we did have slime that smelled like pizza and popcorn, soooooo….

It’s not like millennials invented slime, either. Kids in the ’60s had Silly Putty.

And the ’70s had the ~original~ Mattel Slime.

So, not that your slime isn’t, OK, actually kind of beautiful…

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Instagram

View this photo on Instagram


Instagram: @slime_baew

But respect your elders in slime. Sincerely, your old fogies.

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