Attention, youths of America! *taps mic*
We know your Instagram slime videos are all the rage right now.
And you think all this sticky stuff on social media is like, so new and cool.
But I don’t know if you’re aware of this. Slime was kind of …. OUR thing.
We had this channel in the ’90s called Nickelodeon, and it pretty much put slime on the map.
That’s right, we didn’t just look at cute slime videos on our phone while we were pooping. People back then got slime DUMPED on them. We wore our slime, and we liked it.
But just like you, we also had our own version of toy slime. It was called Gak, and it was glorious.
We even had these sick-ass machines to INFLATE our slime.
Or… suction up the slime and spit it out? I mean, whatever, it was fun.
You think your slime with little foam Dippin’ Dots in it is “on fleek”?
Yeah, we had that, and it was called FLOAM.
You have this sticky rainbow goo.
We had this stuff called Smud.
We didn’t have Instagram, but we did have slime that smelled like pizza and popcorn, soooooo….
It’s not like millennials invented slime, either. Kids in the ’60s had Silly Putty.
And the ’70s had the ~original~ Mattel Slime.
So, not that your slime isn’t, OK, actually kind of beautiful…
But respect your elders in slime. Sincerely, your old fogies.